(HISHE titles play while over them Cap tells Thor to put his hammer away off screen.)
Thor: (Angrily) YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE HAMMER DOWN?!
(SMASH! Thor slams the hammer into the ground causing Iron Man to crash into a tree. Smoke then fills the screen and when it leaves it cuts to Iron Man, Cap, and Thor coughing.)
Cap: Are we done here?
(The camera changes to show them looking at Loki who is still watching on a hill.)
Iron Man: You're still here?
Thor: Why didn't you run away whilst we settled our differences?
(changes to show them looking at Loki)
Loki: I'll never tell! Muhuhahaha... Hmmhmmhmmhmm...Muhuhuhahaha...hahahahaha!
Cap: Okay, we're not taking him back to base. He is DEFINITELY up to something!
(Thor nods in agreement)
Cue title and the Battle of New York
Cap: (running) Whoa! Haha! Shield!
Iron Man: (leaing Leviathans) Gentlemen, right this way!
Hawkeye: (unintelligible as he sucessfully shoots a Chitauri without looking)
Hulk and Thor fight on a Leviathan)
Thor: Ha! Here comes the hammer!
Black Widow: (fires gun at Chitauri) Pew pew pew!
Cap: (tucks into a ball) Captainball!
Thor: (on the antenna of the Chrysler Building) From whence it came!
(camera focus back on the Helicarrier)
Nick Fury: (pointing gun to unknown caller) Say "what" again! I dare you! I DOUBLE dare you!
Black Widow: (stabs Chitauri soldier)
Hulk: (Smashes Loki in Stark Tower) Puny god, puny god, puny god!
Iron Man: (holding a giant missile) (grunts) Tank Missile!
(aftermath of the Battle of New York)
Iron Man: Hey you guys ever had shawarma?
(Cut to the Super Cafe)
Superman: This place serves food?!
Iron Man: Yeah, you guys never had shawarma either?
(hungrily devours shawarma)
Cap: Why do I have to sit on Hulk's lap?
Thor: Mmm Another!
Batman: (to Black Widow) Hey... I'm Batman. You wanna know my secret identity?
Black Widow: ...why?
Superman: (clears throat) So, you guys had quite a weekend.
Cap: Heh, that's an understatement.
Superman: First you guys were all against each other, then your buddy got killed, so you're suddenly friends...
Hulk: Pffh! Someone die?
Iron Man: Uh...yeah, you kinda missed out on that part.
Black Widow: But luckily, you still wanted to be friends later.
Batman: Right, after you fell from the sky and conveniently learned to control your rage...
Superman: And did you steal a motorcycle?
Hulk: Um. Details not important...
Superman: Details like Odin being able to send Thor back to Earth?
Batman: Or the professor conveniently making a way to close the portal? That worked out well for you guys.
Superman: Or the Chitauri all dying "Phantom Menace" style after the nuke?
Batman: Yep. One convenient thing after another...
Cap: Hmm, kind of like your utility belt!
Iron Man: You know what I think? I think you two are just jealous that we knocked it out of the park.
(Avengers indistinctly cheering)
Hawkeye: Sorry, guys...
Batman: I'm not jealous. I'm Batman...
Superman: I guess I would be jealous... if I wasn't, like, all of you combined. If I couldn't fly or shoot lasers or catch missiles and see really far, smash through buildings and wear red and blue...
Iron Man: What's that? You're fading out...
Cap: Whoa! We've broken too many records!
Thor: We can't hear you through all of this box office money...
(epic music plays)
Hawkeye: Natasha? Do I have a mark on my face? It really hurts...right here. Not here... or here so much, but right here.
( close up of Hawkeye with a huge spot on his forehead)
Black Widow: Nope. Ship shape.
Cap: Hey guys, time to suit up...oh my GOSH, what happened to your face?!
Hawkeye: I knew it...