How Batman Begins Should Have Ended

How Batman Begins Should Have Ended

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We begin with Bruce saving an unconscious Ra's Al Ghul from falling to his death. Using his adrenaline, he lifts Ra's back up with one arm somehow. Cut to Bruce leaving Ra's with an old man.

Old Man: He's easily 200 pounds! How were you able to lift him with just one arm?

Bruce: I don't know. I think it's... I think it's BECAUSE I'M BBATMAN!

Because I'm Batman Begins.

Cue real title card. We see Batman trying to get onto the train while fear gas is going off everywhere. Cut to Wayne Industries.

Employee: If that train reaches the main hub, it's all gonna blow!

Cut to Batman busting into the train.

Batman: Through the window!

Ra's turns to confront his former student, who is sitting on the microwave emitter. Batman raises a finger and presses the activation button, shutting the machine down.

Ra's: What the-?! How did you know?

Batman: You stole this weapon from my company. Did you think I wouldn't figure out how to turn it off?

Ra's: (walking forward) You will never learn, will you-?

Batman: Oh, hang on just one sec, I'm in the middle of a call. I'm sorry, what was that?

Fox: I said did you find the off-switch, Mr. Wayne?

Batman: I'M BATMAN!

Fox: Uh... Alright. Did you find the off-switch, Mr. Batman?

Batman: Yes, I did. Thanks, Lucius.

The train then screeches to a halt.

Batman: Oh yeah, this is also my dad's train. Emergency shut-off.

Ra's: Why you! I'll kill you!

Batman: Bat net! (traps Ra's in a net)

Cut to later in The Super Cafe. Superman is laughing like crazy.

Superman: He stole your microwave emitter! (continues laughing)

Batman: Yep.

Superman: And... And you just turned it off?! (continues laughing)

Batman: Yep. The jerk burned down my house.

Superman: (calming down) Oh man, I needed that. Villains are so stupid.

Batman: Yes, they are.

Superman: You're lucky that microwave emitter didn't vaporize every living thing standing nearby.

Batman: Oh, I know. That would've been more realistic AND terrible.

Superman: So where are Ra's Al Ghul and Scarecrow now?

Batman: (takes a sip from his coffee) Oh, they're locked away in Arkham Asylum. We won't be seeing them again.

Cut to The Villain Pub where all of The Nolan Batman villains are laughing for some reason.

Ra's: So the two of us broke out, and he STILL thinks we're locked in Arkham.

Joker: That's awesome.

Bane: Heroes are so annoying.

The end.

We then see Gordon investigating the fear toxin that was poured into the water supply.

Gordon: Why haven't we felt any effects?

Investigator: Must be a compound that has to be absorbed through the lungs.

Gordon: That explains why my wife flipped out on Spaghetti Night.

Cue Gordon's Wife screaming her head off at the sight of Joffery from Game of Thrones.

YouTube Outro. Rachel meets with Bruce.

Rachel: I came here to break up with you.

Bruce: Were we dating?

Rachel: It's because of your mask.

Bruce: My bat mask?

Rachel: No, your face is your mask, and the Bat mask is your real face because it's not what's underneath but what you do and what you do now as Batman. So that's your face.

Bruce: This is really confusing. This IS my face, just like that is your face-.

Rachel suddenly changes into how she looks in The Dark Knight.