How Captain America Should Have Ended

How Captain America Should Have Ended is the fouthy eighth episode of How It Should Have Ended and the foutheenth episode of Season 3. It is based on the superhero film Captain America.

It was released on September 8, 2011.

Transcript
(We begin with the birth of Captain America)

Erskine: Mr. Stark.

( Howard Stark opens the container revealing Johnny Storm until it closes again)

Erskine: Whoap! No no no! You see nothing. He's not ready yet. Just a few more seconds aaaaaand... (the container pings) Ah, there we go.

(The container opens revealing a muscle-bound Steve Rogers)

Steve: SUPERHERO STEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOIIIIIIIIIDS!!!!!!

(Cut to Steve flying The Valkyrie)

Cap: The plane is headed to bomb New York. If I don't force it down now, a lot of people are gonna die. I gotta put her in the water.

Peggy: Please, don't do this. We have time. We could work it out. Just turn the plane around.

Cap: I wish I could but there's just no time. It's just on the cards, y'know?

Peggy: What do you mean? Do you not have control of the plane?

Cap: No, I've got control.

Peggy: Are the bombs set to explode on a timer? Can you not disarm them?

Cap: I actually got rid of most of them already. They're not even bombs, relly more like these tiny little airplanes with ejector seats and everything. I even flew one!

Peggy: You what?!

Cap: Nothing! You know, they even painted the names of the cities in bright painted English, too.

(Flashback to Dr. Zola painting a city name on a plane with Red Skull observing him)

Arnim Zola: But vhy do vant it in English, sir? We are German.

Red Skull: Do not QUESTION MY GENIUS!

(Back to Present)

Peggy: Then why can't you pilot one of the bombs back here before the plane crashes?

Cap: That sure sounds nice. It's just too late.

(Beat)

Peggy: You turn that plane around right now!

Cap: Can't do it.

Peggy: You are being ubsurd!

Cap: I'm gonna need a raincheck on that dance, Peggy.

Peggy: You're not even going to LOOK for a parachute! Something! Just right into the ground!

Cap: I really wanted to take you dancing.

Peggy: I'm really starting to doubt your interest in this relationship!

Cap: Oh, I'm so alone up here! With no option of survival, it's so heartbreaking! (moving the controls downwards) The plane's going down!

Peggy: You know what, fine! Crash your stupid plane! Freeze to death if that's what you want! See if I care! (leaves)

Cap: (over the radio) It's so sad! I don't want to freeze to death! Thanks for the muscles but it's too late now! AAAAAAAAAAAAA-!

(Radio cuts to static as The Valkyrie crashes into the ice. Cut to 70 years later in The Super Cafe. Batman and Superman sing a parody version of Cap's theme song) Both: When Captain America throws his mighty shield All those who choose to oppose his shield must yield Superman: Unless you're a plane Batman: Or a bomb Superman: Or some ice Batman: Then he'll choose to take a nap Superman: Cause the ice seems nice Both: When Captain America throws his mighty shield! (The two heroes laugh.)

Cap: Haha, guys. You're hilarious.

Superman: Hey, I'm Captain America! I can sock old Hitler on the jaw!

Batman: Yeah, just make sure someone else pilots the plane to get me there. Right?

Superman: You remember Hitler, right?

Batman: That other guy you were fighting, before you froze yourself.

Cap: Hey, I had no choice. Okay?

Superman: Don't crash the plane in warmer waters.

Batman: I wanna swim when I'm chasing submarines.

(They resume laughing)

Cap: Oh, like you two could have done it any better!

(They stop laughing)

Superman: Are you kidding? Dude, I catch falling planes in midair, like, every other week.

Batman: And I'm Batman.

Cap: Okay okay, fair enough. But wait! Sssshhh! Do you guys hear that?

Batman: Hear what?

Cap: Is that The Justice League calling?

Superman: I don't hear anything.

Batman: Yeah, me either.

Cap: Exactly.

The end.

Superman: Ohoho!

Batman: Whamo!

Superman: Captain America burn.

Batman: Easy there, Major.

(Cut to those armoured flamethrower HYDRA Guys discussing their plan to capture Cap)

HYDRA 1: Okay, vhen he gets here, I'll do my hands like zis and you do your hands the same, and on ze count of drei we catch him with a fence of fire.

HYDRA 2: Or ve could just burn him. Isn't zat ze purpose of having flamethrower arms? (gets whacked by Cap's mighty shield)

HYDRA 1: Jesus! Fenco of fire! Fence of fire! (headshot)

Cap: Haha! Take that, Hydra Nazis!

(YouTube outro)

Superman: Hey, thanks for watching. We hope you enjoyed it.

Batman: Leave us a comment and don't forget to subscribe.

Superman: Click on another video if you want some more superheroes.

Batman: Yeah, like mine!

Superman: Or mine.

Batman: Or mine.

Superman: Or Iron Man.

Batman: Yeah, or mine. (whispering) Because I'm Batman.