Duh Plus

Transcript
Superman: So... are you going to sign up for Duh Plus?

Batman: "Duh Plus"?

Superman: Yeah, Duh Plus. That's what all the cool kids are calling it.

Batman: I seriously doubt that.

Superman: You haven't heard that? [starts singing, much to Batman's annoyance] 🎶Are you gettin' Duh Plus? No duh I'm gettin' Duh Plus! It's got all of duh shows and duh movies from all of dos times dat you loooooooooooooooved! You would be DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMB! If you don't get Duh Plus!🎶

Batman: Where in the world did you hear that?

Superman: It was a promoted ad on social media.

Batman: *groooooooooaaaaaaaaaaan*

Superman: What?!

Batman: You're being programmed, man! That's targeted marketing!

Superman: It's just a commercial!

Batman: There is way more to it than that, I assure you.

Superman: Oh, you don't know. What streaming service do you subscribe to?

Batman: The only thing I subscribe to is vengeance and justice.

Superman: Oh, big surprise (!). I bet that doesn't get predictable.

Batman: It's extremely predictable and doesn't look to be showing signs of getting cancelled. I call it Gotham Plus... Batman.

Superman: Mmm.

Batman: Gotham Plus Batman.

Superman: Clever.

Batman: I am the streaming service.

Superman: Oh, I get it.

Batman: Because I'm serving the justice.

Superman: Do you have a lot of subscribers?

Batman: Oh, tons! Any time I catch someone trying to subscribe to a life of crime, I just swoop in and I'm like "SUBSCRIBE TO ME!!!". Kablamo! It's pretty awesome.

Superman: Well, you're missing out, my friend. Streaming apps are also awesome and there are so many to choose now! You can get Amazon, Netflix, HBO, CBS All Access, DC Universe, YouTube TV, ESPN+, Apple TV, and now Duh Plus.

Batman: Please stop calling it that.

Superman: You're gonna miss out.

Batman: No, I'm gonna save money!

Superman: Like you need to save money!

Batman: How much do you spend a month on all your shows?

Superman: With all the apps and the internet combined? Hmmmm... About $200.

Batman: That's ridiculous! I don't think you're saving any money.

Superman: Yeah, but now I can watch what I want when I want it! And I wanna watch The Mandalorian, Stranger Things, The Boys which is really gross and kind of insulting so I can't really recommend it but at the same time find it really addicting.

Batman: Oh, I'm aware.

Superman: There's Barry, British Bake Off, The Good Place, Watchmen, Puffin Rock.

Batman: Puffin What?

Superman: Oh, it's this kids show. It's super cute. You should watch it.

Batman: I'm not gonna watch Puffin Rock! How do you even have time to watch all of this stuff?!

Superman: Uh, I'm super fast? Remember? And it's not like I'm busy at the moment with the current Justice League situation.

Batman: What Justice League situation?

Superman: We left, remember?

Batman: Oh yeah, right! We dodged a bullet there, didn't we?

Superman: Well, depends on who you ask but I don't need to dodge bullets so I guess I really don't need to leave. Who knows, maybe I'll come back. We'll see. Which reminds me, Witcher on Netflix!

Aquaman: [outside] And don't forget See! Apple TV Plus! [flying off] WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Batman: So you're saying, without The Justice League, you're a Super Couch Potato.

Superman: Look, I can't help it if I can finish my work faster than you and have time to enjoy some good shows at the end of the day.

Batman: You need to stop wasting your money.

Superman: And you need to Netflix and Chill!

Batman: What are you, Mr. Freeze? "You need to Netflix and Chill". I don't Netflix and Chill! Do you know why? Because I'm Batman and Chill!

Superman: Lois and I are gonna Duh Plus and Chill.

Batman: Okay, now you're just making things weird!

Super Cafe: Duh Plus

The End.