Super Cafe: The Last Trailer

Transcript
Batman: So... did you see the new trailer?

Superman: Yes! Who didn't?! It's, like, super viral!

Batman: I know, right? Pretty popular, huh?

Superman: It is. There's so much mystery to it.

Batman: Uh-huh.

Superman: And dark.

Batman: Yep.

Superman: Like what's gonna happen?

Batman: I know. They're not giving very much away.

Superman: And when they showed Rey on the side of the cliff just swinging that lightsaber...

Batman: Oh, you're talking about...

Superman: I was like "Get it, girl."

Batman: ... Star Wars...

Superman: "You learn those Force powers."

Batman: ... Again...

Superman: And the tragic Star Wars theme with the title card! When Luke says "It's time for The Jedi to end." Oh! So powerful.

Batman sighs.

Superman: What?!

Batman: I'm not talking about the Star Wars trailer! I'm talking about our trailer! AGAIN!

Superman: Oh. You mean the Justice League trailer?

Batman: WHAT OTHER TRAILER DO YOU THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY OUR TRAILER?!

Superman: Well, I wasn't IN that trailer so I wasn't sure you meant "we" as in you and I or "we" like The Royal We, man!

Batman: Hey, Lewbowski, I'm talking about the Justice League trailer. What'd you think?

Superman: I thought it was fine. I mean Aquaman making car-surfing look cool is probably not the greatest thing to teach kids but I'm really WAY more concerned about what's gonna happen to Rey.

Batman: Rey? What about The League, dude? What's gonna happen to them?

Superman: Probably nothing. This is your first team-up. Do you think Rey is The Last Jedi or is Luke?

Batman sighs.

Superman: And does he mean, like, The Way of The Jedi must end or that there can't be anymore Jedi ever? Or is it like if you wanted, you could study The Force and carry a lightsaber, you just can't call yourself a Jedi?

Batman: You sound like such a dork right now.

Superman: I'm a dork?! Hey, uh, raise your hand if you're wearing your normal clothes or if you're wearing a costume resembling a winged mammal?

Batman: Oh, what do you know! I'm dressed like a bat because I'm Batman! So these ARE my normal clothes! In your face. You're still a dork.

Superman: I'm sorry. I have so many questions. Do you think Rey will turn to The Dark Side?

Batman: No. Do you think we'll fight Darkseid?

Superman: No, I think you're gonna fight me and my mullet. Do you think Ben Solo's gonna turn good?

Batman: You mean Kylo Ren?

Superman: No, Ben Solo!

Batman: I really doubt that's the path they're gonna take on this one.

Superman: Do you think Rey is related to Ben Kenobi?

Batman: Possibly. Do you think we're gonna knock down a bunch of buildings again?

Superman: Of course! Do you think there'll be a Ghost Obi-Wan scene?!

Batman: I don't care.

Superman: A Ghost Yoda scene?!

Batman: I don't care.

Superman: Ghost Anakin?!

Batman: I really doubt they'll be that brave. Do you think that engagement ring you gave Lois is the reason she's the key?

Superman: Yes. It better be otherwise that whole thing is just silly.

Batman: I know. Saying you guys are in love is laughable.

Superman: Dude, we flooded a bathtub!

Batman: And?

Superman: I really hope Rey is a Kenobi. Rey Kenobi sounds so cool. "I am Rey Kenobi, and I'm a Jedi like my grandfather before me!" (makes lightsaber noises)

Batman: Why can't Rey have her own last name? Why does she have to be linked to the original cast? I bet Rey's supposed to be different. I bet she's her own thing.

Superman: (Gasp!) Like David Pumpkins.

Batman: Exactly.

Superman: Rey Pumpkins! She's her own thang!

Batman: And the droids are...

Both: Part of it!

Superman: Huh. David Pumpkins is Rey's father.

Batman: I think, really, you should be asking who is her mother.

Superman: Do you think her mother's name is Martha?

Batman: Stop it.

Superman: Also, I thought you didn't care.

Batman: I don't. I just think it's gonna be The Empire Strikes Back all over again, except with a new cast.

Superman: Well, I hope you're wrong. Sort of. I do want her to get her hand cut off, which is a weird thing to wish on someone, but I hope it's not a carbon copy of Empire.

Batman: Well, get ready to be disappointed.

Superman: You get ready... to be stupid.

Batman: What?

Superman: Because I probably WON'T be disappointed even if it IS just like Empire!

Batman: How does... ? How does that make me stupid?

Superman: It just does!

Batman: Can we just talk about the Justice League trailer now?

Superman: Nope! Because I'm not in that trailer so that trailer sucks!

Batman: (hearing that, gets an idea) Well, by that definition that would mean The Last Jedi trailer sucks.

Superman: Oh no! Dang it. That's not what I meant.

Batman: (LOL) Too late! You said it! You think Star Wars sucks!

Superman: I do not!

Batman: Yes, you do! I figured it out because I'm Batman!

Superman: Dang it!

Super Cafe: The Last Trailer

The end.