Super Cafe: Teens and Titans

Transcript
Superman: So, did you see that Teen Titans thing?

Batman: Yes, I did.

Superman: So what'd you think?

Batman: I think Robin better watch his Rated-R mouth before he gets punched in it.

Superman: No, not that Titans thing! Ugh. No. I'm talking about the cartoon movie.

Batman: Oh that. That movie about superheroes wanting to be in the movies instead of actually being heroes? Yeah, I saw it.

Superman: Wasn't it great?!

Batman: (hesitant) I don't know.

Superman: What?! No way! I thought it was super fun. I laughed so many times.

Batman: It just felt like a bunch of poop and fart jokes to me. It wasn't serious at all. Where's the darkness? Where's the intense villain?

Superman: I think we've had plenty of dark and intense. I mean what's wrong with bright and colourful?

Batman: Nothing, but it seems like everything is going the bright and comical route. Shazam. Aquaman.

Superman: You think Aquaman looks like a comedy?

Batman: Looking comical and being a comedy are two totally different things.

Superman: What's wrong with Aquaman?!

Batman: Nothing. I'm sure fighting Fish-Eminem is gonna be the greatest story ever told.

Superman: (Gaaaaaaaasp!) Shame on you! You are in a mood today.

Batman: I'm just tired of all the inconsistency. One day we're dark, the next we're epic, then Aquaman's trying to be Lord of The Water Rings, suddenly Robin's dropping F-bombs, and Shazam is flossing. I'm just like... What're we doing?!

Superman: They're keeping it fun and you should be happy! The Teen Titans made you look like the king superhero.

Batman: Well, that's because I am the king superhero. Do you know why?

Superman: I know what you're gonna do right now. Yes, I do know why.

Batman: Because I'm-.

Superman: Because you have Alfred. Yes, I know. I don't need your catchphrase every other sentence.

Batman: Well, at least it's not Robin's catchphrase.

Superman: Stop it! You didn't like that?

Batman: What kind of person that fights crime yells, "Crack an egg on it! KA-KAW!"?

Superman: I thought that was hysterical!

Batman: I'll tell you who says something like that. A crazy person, that's who.

Superman: You are being WAY too judgemental.

Batman: And you're being way too easy on that story.

Superman: Oh, I'm sorry I really enjoyed the comedic cartoon movie. I think maybe you forgot what movie you bought tickets for. It was supposed to be light and silly.

Batman: Yeah, it was really silly when they ran over that Michael Bolton cat and left him to die on the road.

Superman: I'm... I'm sure he's fine.

Cut to Michael Bolton Cat in a full body cast in a hospital room.

Michael Bolton Cat: ♪That's why I'm feeling... Upbeat! Upbeat!♪ Can't feel my legs.

Cut back to the cafe.

Batman: They also left those Unknown guys to die in that dark dimension.

Superman: That was a joke!

Batman: And they used time travel to totally save my parents but then they used it again to make sure they died for real the second time!

Superman: (realises) Oh... I see now why you didn't like that story.

Batman: How do you have time travel and NOT use it for good and call yourself a hero?!

Superman: Let me try to explain this to you... (whispers) They are teenagers!

Batman: They're reckless.

Superman: I think we just agree to disagree on this one.

Batman: Yeah, whatever.

Cue The Teen Titans arriving with Cyborg, who still uses his DCEU design while the rest use their 2003 cartoon designs.

Cyborg: What's up, fellas?! Did you see our movie yet?!

Batman: Heck yes, I did! Nice one, guys! I loved every second of it!

Robin: Titans! Victory dance!

Cue a quick victory dance.

Batman: Not Superman, though. He thought it sucked.

Superman: WHAT?!

Super Cafe: Teens and Titans

The end.