How Captain Marvel Should Have Ended

Transcript
We begin with Carol training with Yon-Rogg. She makes her fist glow.

Yon-Rogg: Control it.

Carol: I am controlling it. I'm making my fist glow so I can punch you really hard.

Yon-Rogg: You're not as strong as you think.

Carol: (raising an eyebrow) I don't know, I think I might be stronger than you and that's why you don't want me to use my powers.

Yon-Rogg: (slightly nervous) That's not it! Pssshhhh! Careful, Vers, what was given can be taken away.

Carol: Why didn't The Supreme Intelligence give you or anyone else powers?

Yon-Rogg: Uuuuummmmmm...

Carol: I mean if I have powers and you don't have powers, then why are you the one training me how to use my powers?

Yon-Rogg: Uuuuhhhhh... (gets her in an arm lock) Haha! Doubt makes you vulnerable, Vers!

Carol: You know what? Fine. (walks away) Just take 'em. If you think I'm so unworthy, I'm just gonna pop this thing out right now.

Yon-Rogg: NO WAIT!!!

Too late, she pops the control thingy out and goes full Binary.

Yon-Rogg: (chuckles nervously) Uh-oh.

Carol: Oh, you lying sack of-!

How Captain Marvel Should Have Ended

We cut to the finale in Ronan's ship as Carol destroys the missiles.

Ronan: Take her down.

Captain Marvel: HAHA! (destroys the missiles)

Ronan: Oh man.

Captain Marvel: YOU EXPLODE AND YOU EXPLODE!

Ronan: This is... This is bad.

Captain Marvel: (destroys a Accuser ship) HAAA!

Ronan's Accomplice: She's, uh, not going down, sir.

Ronan: Duh! I can see that, Todd! She is blowing up everything!

Carols destroys every ship and floats in front of Ronan's ship.

Ronan: Oh, thank goodness she stopped. We're safe. Let us retreat so we can-.

Carol starts zooming towards them.

Ronan: HOLY CRAP, SHE'S HEADING RIGHT FOR US!!!

Carol destroys Ronan's ship, killing him and his crew. Carol floats from her victory as she hears clapping. She looks to see...

Superman: Wow, nice work! You saved The Earth, you flew out into space. You know what's next, right? Now all you need to do is smile for the camera.

Captain Marvel: Did you just tell me I needed to smile?

Superman is taken aback by that question. We cut to later in The Original Super Cafe (because The 90's) as Superman tries to explain his actions.

Superman: I didn't know that was offensive!

Batman: Let me Batmansplain this to you. You don't just tell girls they should smile. It's, like, super rude.

Superman: I thought she was doing The Superman Ending so I wanted to show my support! She stopped a missile, she flew out into space, y'know? I thought smile for the camera!

Captain Marvel: It's okay. I understand you weren't trying to be disrespectful.

Batman: Yeah, I mean it's not like you erased her memories without her knowledge or anything. You wouldn't do something like that.

Captain Marvel: What?

Superman: NOTHING! He's just being out of context. Hey, Batman, don't you want to ask Carol if she'd like to know your secret identity?

Batman: Yes, as a matter of fact I do but I don't get the feeling she's interested!

Captain Marvel: Mm-mm.

Superman: Well, how embarrassing that must be for you!

Batman: It isn't because I'm totally secure with it!

Cue Goose eating Batman's coffee. Batman stares in shock.

Goose: Meow.

Batman: Umm... your cat just ate my coffee mug.

Nick Fury: Yeah, he's like that sometimes.

Batman: (pulling another mug out from his belt) It's okay, I've got another one right here.

Talos: You have a full cup of coffee in your belt?

Batman: I carry all sorts of things on my belt. Because I'm Batman.

Superman: Yeah, that isn't a normal cat and it has The Tesseract inside it. Do you know that?

Nick Fury: Oh, I know and that's why this thing isn't leaving my sight.

Superman: So The Kree are pretty much done for and now The Earth is safe. What's next, you gonna start building a team of superheroes?

Nick Fury: Nah, I figure I'll wait at least a decade.

Batman: Weird but ok. You are super chill, by the way. I expected you to be way more upset the way that thing took your eye.

Nick Fury: (triggered) Oh, I am very upset. I will never trust a living thing EVER AGAIN AFTER THE BETRAYAL THAT HAS BEEN BESTOWED UPON ME (makes Goose face him) AND I WILL SPEAK ABOUT SAID BETRAYAL FOR DECADES, GOOSE, UNTIL I AM FULLY SATISFIED!

Goose: Hssssss!!! (scratches Fury's wounded eye again)

Nick Fury: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH, IT HAPPENED AGAIN! WHY GOOSE?! WHYYYYY?!?!

Goose leaves.

Talos: I don't mean to sound like I don't care about any of this but do you think we could get back to helping my people find a home?

Captain Marvel: Sure. So, I'm gonna be gone for a while but I gave Fury this pager in case you guys need me again. But ONLY for emergencies!

Nick Fury: Oh, I know. I know. Only for emergencies.

NEW YORK, 2012

The Chitauri are invading and The Avengers are ready to face them. Cut to The Helicarrier.

Nick Fury: HOLY CRAP, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! (activates the pager)

Captain Marvel: (appearing out of nowhere) I got your page. What's up?

Nick Fury: ALIENS ARE ATTACKING THE PLANET!

Captain Marvel: Okay, I'm on it.

Cue Carol flying into the portal and destroying the mothership that controlled The Chitauri, killing them instantly. The Avengers look up in confusion.

Captain America: Who the heck was that?!

Nick Fury: Oh, that's, uh... That's Captain Marvel. She's kind of The First Avenger.

Captain America: (feeling rejected) I thought I was The First Avenger.

Captain Marvel: Okay, you're good!

Nick Fury: Thanks, Carol!

Captain Marvel: Call me again if you need me! (flies into the portal, back into space)

The Avengers continue to stare in complete confusion.

Iron Man: ... I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Cut to Carol flying towards Thanos, who is sitting in his chair.

Thanos: Aw, come on! (gets tackled)

The End.

We fade to Carol letting Monica change the colours of her suit.

Captain Marvel: How do you even know how to use this technology?

Zoom in on Monica.

Monica: I'm really smart.

Zoom out to reveal that she changed Carol's suit to look like Shazam's suit.

Captain Marvel: (freaking out) Okay, that's enough of that!