How Avengers: Infinity War Should Have Ended

Avengers: Infinity War is the sequel to 2012's The Avengers and 2015's Avengers: Age of Ultron, and the nineteenth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU).

Synopsis
Gamora takes Thanos to an unknown planet, claiming the Soul stone is at the bottom of a lake of acid lava. Thanos, however, turns the lake to bubbles with the gauntlet and realizes she lied to him again. He takes her back to his ship, planning to punish Nebula, only to find out the latter escaped. He scolds his guards for their failure, claiming that this doesn't put a smile on his face.

On Titan, Strange uses the Time Stone to go forward in time and see all the possible future outcomes of their situation with Thanos. However, instead of only seeing one where they succeed, he sees five.

In the first outcome, as Thanos arrives on Titan and confronts Strange, the latter uses the Cloak of Levetaion to grab his gauntlet arm. Strange opens a portal below Thanos and the cloak lowers him into it. He then closes the portal at the arm, severing it.

In the second outcome, as the group on Titan subdue Thanos, Strange uses the Time Stone to revert him back to an infant, rendering him powerless and non-threatening. Drax then proposes they should kill him, but Parker objects since he was now a baby. As Quill points out they can't leave him on Titan and questions what to do with him, Stark decides to take him back to his fiancée, Pepper, as the kid he dreamed about having with her. Pepper faints upon seeing him.

In the third outcome, Peter Quill confronts a barely-conscious Thanos about killing Gamora, as the group tries to remove the gauntlet, but before he can attack Thanos and subsequently ruin everything, Nebula knocks him out from behind. Stark and Parker manage to remove the gauntlet, which falls into Nebula's possession. She uses its power to completely obliterate Thanos, and then leaves it on the ground. Stark tries to take it, but Strange stops him.

In the fourth outcome, in Wakanda, M'Baku, Okoye and the Wakandan armies prepare for battle against the Outruders. However, Wong suddenly appears and traps the Outruders in the mirror dimmension and celebrates by pumping his fist.

In the fifth outcome, Thor attacks Thanos with his new weapon, Stormbreaker, but instead of hitting him in the chest or the head (the latter of which Thanos points out), he reveals that he severed Thano's left arm, cutting him off from the power of the Infinity Gauntlet, and defeating him once and for all.

All the Avengers and the Guardians, along with a rebuilt Vision with a vibranium body, convene with Batman and Superman at the Super Café, with Thor in possession of the Infinity Gauntlet, who declares himself their new ruler. Quill objects to this, until Thor uses the gauntlet to bring his girlfriend, Gamora, back. Quill then happily tells Thor he is "pretty great". They rejoice in their victory over Thanos, though Stark claims they always win the day. Black Widow ponders the possibility of them actually losing, which they all laugh at. The heroes all start talking about their past actions from Civil War, as well as their own respective movies, in a happy, but awkward tone, with Rocket stealing Bucky's metal arm in the process, leading Batman to point out how cheesy happy endings can be. Korg and Miek appear in the cafe, put on some music and asks Batman to dance with them, which he accepts. While Batman dances, and everyone continues chatting, Thor ends up snapping his gauntlet fingers to the beat, twice, causing everyone to freeze in shock.

At the Villain Pub, Thanos, with only a band aid covering his wound, mopes over his defeat by drinking infinity shots, with Joker happy about the fact that he won the Dead-Pool. Suddenly, the pub's patrons begin disintegrating to dust one by one. Palpatine devastatingly watches Bowser disintegrate before his eyes. He asks Thanos if he's happy now, with Thanos responding that he thought it was the only way, before disintegrating himself. Voldemort, feeling himself flaking away, desperately holds on to Joker, begging not to go, since he had gone through a similar process before. Joker responds by stabbing him in the back and laughing, while Voldemort wallows in agony. The two, then, disintegrate. With the rest of the villains disintegrating, Palpatine quickly rushes down to the wine cellar, where Jaws, too, vanishes, and sends out a message to Deadpool via pager before disintegrating himself.

Afterwards, Loki arrives at the pub, having faked his death again, only to find piles of ash.

Characters
Heroes: Villains:
 * Superman
 * Batman
 * Tony Stark/ Iron Man
 * Thor
 * Bruce Banner/ Hulk
 * Steve Rodgers/ Captain America
 * Natsha Romanoff/ Black Widow
 * Doctor Strange
 * Peter Parker/ Spiderman
 * T'Challa/ Black Panther
 * Wanda Maximoff/ Scarlet Witch
 * Bucky Barnes/ Winter Soldier
 * Ant Man
 * Korg
 * Miek
 * Valkyrie
 * Hawkeye (Mentioned)
 * Wong
 * Peter Quill/ Star-Lord
 * Gamora
 * Nebula
 * Rocket
 * Groot
 * Drax the Destroyer
 * Mantis
 * Maleficent (death)
 * Loki
 * Deadpool (Photo)
 * Thanos (death)
 * Emperor Palpatine (death)
 * Joker (death)
 * Voldemort (death)
 * Bowser (death)
 * Zod (death)
 * Biff (death)
 * Dr Doom (death)
 * Electro (death)
 * Pennywise (death)

Transcript
We open with Gamora and Thanos on a volcanic planet instead of Vormir. Gamora shows Thanos where The Soul Stone supposedly is.

Gamora: Well, here we are. The location of The Soul Stone is right in there. I guess you better go in and get it.

We are then shown where exactly.

Thanos: This is a lake of acid lava.

Gamora: I know, crazy, right?! Well, hop on in and get that stone you need so bad. It's all the way down at the bottom.

Thanos: (uses The Reality Stone) Bubbles.

The lake turns into bubbles.

Gamora: Crap! You and your stinkin' bubbles!

Thanos: You lied to me again.

Gamora: Whaaaaaaaat?! That's crazy! You must have turned it into bubbles. I mean I wouldn't lie to you.

Thanos: (teleports them back to his ship where Nebula is held) Your sister will pay for this.

As soon as they arrive however...

Chitauri: Oh my gosh, Thanos! The sister has escaped!

Thanos: DANGIT, YOU GUYS HAD ONE JOB! (leaves) THIS DOES NOT PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE!

Cue MCU inspired logo... which slowly turns to dust at the end.

Creator: (fighting tears) Oh no! Why? Why would you do that?! Too soon!!! (begins crying) Nooooooo...

We get Strange looking at the different outcomes of the movie's ending via The Time Stone.

Iron Man: Strange, you alright?

Doctor Strange: I just went forward in time to see all the possible outcomes.

Iron Man: Well, how many did we win?

Silence.

Doctor Strange: Five.

ONE

Scenario one has Thanos meet Strange.

Doctor Strange: Oh yeah, you're much more of a Thanos.

Thanos: I take it Maw is dead then? At least he accomplished his mission-.

Doctor Strange: CloakofLevitation!

Cloak wraps itself around the gauntlet.

Thanos: What is this?!

Doctor Strange: (opens a portal beneath Thanos) And sling ring.

Thanos sinks into it. Before his gauntlet hand enters however...

Doctor Strange: (closes the portal) And cut!

The gauntlet with Thanos' severed hand lies on the ground.

Iron Man: Wow!

Spider-Man: THAT WAS AWESOME!

Iron Man: Nice job, Sherlock.

Star Lord: Did we win already?!

TWO

Scenario two has them getting the gauntlet off before Peter screws the pooch that everybody but me actually hates.

Mantis: He is very strong!

Doctor Strange: (using The Time Stone) Aaaaaaaand Baby Thanos!

Cue Thanos turning into a baby.

Everyone bar Nebula: Aaaaaawwwwwwwwwww...

Drax: Okay, now we can kill him.

Spider-Man: Waitwaitwaitwait! We can't kill Thanos now! He's just a baby!

Star Lord: Well, who's gonna take care of him? We can't just leave him here.

Tony gets an idea. Cut to him with Pepper afterwards.

Tony: Hey, Honey! Remember that dream, I was talking about having a baby? Say hello to our new son, Thanos!

Thanos: Dadadadada!

Pepper: (faints)

Tony: Oh come on, this is not the weirdest thing I've brought home before!

THREE

Scenario three begins with Peter about to screw the pooch.

Star Lord: Tell me you didn't do it!

Thanos: I had to...

Star Lord: No, you didn't!

Iron Man: Is there anyone else NOT using their hands at the moment that could shut him up?!

Cue Nebula knocking Star Lord out with a whack to the back of the head with a gun.

Iron Man: Thank you!

Spider-Man: It's almost there! I got it!

They get the gauntlet off Thanos. It flies into the air before it lands into the hand of... Nebula.

Nebula: The power of the gauntlet now rests on new shoulders. Anything I yearn for is within my grasp. (using The Space Stone to lift and hold Thanos) Do you know what I yearn for, dear Thanos?

Thanos: (realising what's about to happen) Oh dang.

Nebula: Revenge.

Nebula punches and destroys Thanos with... ♪ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!♪

Nebula: Sweet. (takes off and tosses the gauntlet to the ground) Okay, I'm done. (leaves)

Iron Man: Dibs!

Doctor Strange: (walking in front of Tony) Nonono! I don't think so! I'll be taking that, thanks.

Iron Man: (degected) Aawwwww.

FOUR

Scenario four opens with The Outriders trying to penetrate The Wakandan Shield.

M'Baku: This will be the end of Wakanda.

Okeye: Then it will be the noblest ending in history.

Just then, a portal opens and Wong steps out.

Wong: Don't worry, everyone. I got this. (opens a portal to...) Mirror Dimension!

The portal to The Mirror Dimension wraps itself around Thanos' forces and teleports them to The Mirror Dimension.

Wong: And gone! Yes! Wong!

FIVE

But this is how it really should have ended...

Scenario five opens with...

Thor: (aiming Stormbreaker) THANOS!!!

Thor throws Stormbreaker. Thanos tries to stop the weapon to no avail. We zoom in on Thanos before we see where Stormbreaker struck. Thor grabs the injured Thanos.

Thor: I told you, you would die for that.

Thanos: You should have... aimed for the head.

Thor: I know. I was thinking the exact same thing. But then I thought... Naaaaaaaaahhhhh! The arm is good.

We zoom out to reveal where Stormbreaker struck, revealing that Thor severed Thanos' entire left arm.

Thanos: Aw, poop.

We cut to later in The New Super Cafe. Everyone is sitting at a really big table and Thor is wearing The Infinity Gauntlet.

Thor: And so I defeated Thanos because I am truly awesome. I have this amazing new axe, the rabbit gave me a new eyeball from his buttocks, and I'm the rightful King of Asgard. Which is now Earth by the way, I forgot to mention that. So I suppose that makes me your new ruler. Sooooo... You're welcome.

Batman: What did he say?

Rocket: Is he talking to the whole table? Because I wasn't listening.

War Machine: Can you speak up?

Thor: I said I'm your new ruler!

Iron Man: Yeah, Earth doesn't work like that I'm afraid.

Thor: Well, me and my new Infinity Gauntlet beg to differ.

Drax: I will follow the majestic pirate angel man anywhere.

Star Lord: Well, I won't! Hey, Jerk Face, My girlfriend died for this precious gauntlet!

Thor: (bringing Gamora back to life) Oh, you mean this girlfriend?

Gamora: (appears sitting beside Star Lord) Whoa. Where am I?

Star Lord: Awesome!

Drax: HA! There is Gamora!

Star Lord: Okay, I take it back. That Thor guy is pretty great.

Captain America: Well, you guys, we finally made it. What an achievement, right? Look at us. Everyone's here. The Guardians, Spider-Man, Shuri even made a new Vision.

Scarlet Witch: Thank you, Vibranium.

Superman: Yeah, everyone's here except Hawkeye, and The Netflix Avengers.

Batman: And Ant-Man.

Ant-Man: (passing by the window trying to stop the car like in the trailer) My bad, guys! Siri didnt know how to get to Wakanda!

Captain America: Okay, except those guys. We're all here though and we won the day!

Iron Man: What are you talking about? We always win.

Rocket: This is like every summer for us.

Black Widow: Can you imagine if we actuallt lost?

Everyone bursts into laughter.

Spider-Man: Peope would be emotionally scarred for life!

Black Panther: I literally just became king of Wakanda!

Thor: Well, thanks to us, and mostly me, we didn't lose. Sooo, a toast!

Captain America: Here's to the greatest team in the whole universe!

Everyone: YEAH!!!

Vision: To Vibranium!

Everyone: Vibranium! Yeah!

Iron Man: And to a couple of tagalongs who are pretty awesome as well!

Everyone: Here here! Yeah!

Batman: Wait, are you talking about us?

Superman: I'm not a tagalong. I was here first.

Batman: Yeah, if anything you guys are all my third wheel. Do you know why?

Everyone: BECAUSE YOU'RE BATMAN!

Batman: Hehe! That's right. Because I'm Batman.

Teen Groot: (playing his game) I am Groot.

Batman: I'm Batman!

No response.

Batman: (confused) Wow, I really thought that was gonna come back at me.

Rocket: He's a teenager. He doesn't care about anything right now.

Batman: Well, I guess I win then. Because I'm Batman.

Captain America: I'm Steve Rogers.

Batman: Dangit!

Superman: Please stop.

Iron Man: Hey, remember when we had that Civil War? And wanted to kill each other for nothing?

Everyone laughs.

War Machine: I got paralysed.

Falcon: We were all arrested.

Black Widow: Remember when Rhodey had a different face?

Iron Man: Remember when Bruce had a different face?

Bruce: Hey, remember when Black Widow made me believe we had a future together?

Iron Man: She did! Burn!

Everyone laughs.

Doctor Strange: Remember when I saved the world from Dormammu without any of you?

Silence.

Iron Man: Don't make up stories, Strange!

Everyone laughs.

Doctor Strange: I'm not making it up.

Bucky: Remember when I killed Tony's parents?

Iron Man: I'm still not 100% okay with that, you one armed Jesus!

They laugh again.

Bucky: I have two arms, you-. (sees his robotic arm is missing) Wait, what?!

Rocket: (waving Bucky's arm) HAHAHAHAHA, I told you I'd get that arm!

Thor: Silly rabbit, tricks are for wizards!

They laugh as we begin to focus on Batman.

Batman: (sighs) Happy endings are so cheesy sometimes.

Cue the arrival of Valkyrie, Korg, and Miek.

Korg: Hey, man. My name's Korg and this is my very good friend, Miek. We're gonna go to that jukebox over there and play some music. Wanna come?

Batman: ... Sure, why not?

The heroes continue to reminisce about the previous MCU HISHE videos as Batman dances.

Iron Man: And then I was all "Tank missile"!

Gamora: Remember when Star Lord used to be immortal?

Captain America: Remember when I was frozen?

Black Panther: Has anyone else ever been to the Ancestral Plane?

Rocket: Anybody wanna buy a robot arm? What about the spider kid? Does he need a robot arm?

Time for Thor to ruin the moment.

Thor: Oh, I like this tune. It has a nice beat.

(Thor starts snapping his fingers to the beat... with the Infinity Gauntlet. Twice. Everyone gasps.)

Rocket: What did you just do?!

Cut to The Villain Pub. Thanos has a huge plaster over his wound and has six drinks, each one coloured like one of The Infinity Stones. I'm sorry about what is about to happen in this scene.

Voldemort: You lost?!

Thanos: (saddened) I did.

Joker: Does that mean I've won the bet? Woohoo!

Zod: Guys? I feel... itchy. Like really weird. (disintegrates)

Joker: Whoa.

Cobra Commander: CURSES! (disintegrates)

Poison Ivy: (disintegrates)

Jason: Oh no, this is different! (disintegrates)

The Lonely Zombie: ♪NOOOOOOOOOOOO!♪ (disintegrates)

Bane: Something's happening. (disintegrates)

Magneto gasps and falls to his knees.

Khan: On your feet, old man. This is no place to- (disintegrates)

Magneto, a Xenomorph, and Predator disintegrate.

Bowser: Boss? (slowly disintegrates)

Palpatine: Oh, no. No. No!

Bowser disintegrates.

Thanos: Palpatine.

Palpatine: Are you happy now, Thanos?

Thanos: I thought it was the only way. (disintegrates)

Voldemort: Joker? I don't feel so good. (hugs Joker) I don't know what's happening! (slowly begins to turn into ashes) I don't-. I don't want-! I don't want to go! Joker, please!

Joker: It's okay, Voldy.

Voldemort: No, seriously! I flaked away once before already! I don't want to go through that again!

Joker: (pulls out a knife) Maybe this will help. STAB! (stabs Voldemort in the back and bursts into laughter)

Voldemort: AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!! Why would you do that?!

Joker: Because it's funny! (resumes laughing)

Voldemort: Do you SEE me laughing?! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!

Joker: Oh, man. (disintegrates)

Voldemort: I hate you guys. (disintegrates)

Palpatine runs as everyone turns into ashes, including Cersei Lannister, Pennywise, a Dalek, Biff, Doctor Doom, Maleficent, and Electro. Palpatine makes it to The Wine Cellar of Doom.

Jaws: OH NO! (disintegrates)

Palpatine: Where is it?! Where is that blasted thing?! (searches a dufflebag and gets out a device) I'm going to regret this. (presses the button on the device as he starts to turn into ashes) Oh my. Heroes are so annoyi-. (disintegrates)

We zoom in on the device as we see that it sent a distress call to... Deadpool! We cut to black. Cue title and credits.

Post credits bit has us back at the front door of the pub as we see the return of...

Loki: Hello, everyone! I'm baaaaaaaack! Have I got a story for you! I faked my own death, again! Hahahahahaha! (notices the ashes scattered all over the place) What is this? Where is everyone?

The end.