How Justice League Should Have Ended

How Justice League Should Have Ended is the hundred and thirty eighth episode of How It Should Have Ended and the third episode of Season 1. It is based on the superhero film Justice League.

It was released on April 9, 2018.

Transcript
(The HISHE logo appears DC-style. Then the title appears)

Singer: ♪Everybody knows Everybody knows Steppenwolf blows♪

(We open with camera footage of kids talking to Superman, whose mouth is CG)

Kid 1: Superman, I mustache you a question!

Kid 2: Or should he shave it for later?

Superman: (sighs) Do you guys really have a question?

Kid 1: Why does your mouth look fake?

(In Themyscira...)

Lead Archer: Hold!

Steppenwolf: (appearing through his portal and approaches The Mother Box) Ah, Mother. At last, you call-

Lead Archer: FIRE!

(Cue everyone firing arrows into Steppenwolf's face, killing him)

Hippolyta: Great job, everyone! This is exactly why we constantly train for battle!

Amazons: WOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(Cut to Bruce/Batman meeting Arthur Curry/Aquaman)

Aquaman: (walking into the water) You're out of your mind, Batman. I mean Bruce Wayne. I mean Batman. I came here only to do two things: Look masculine and talk to fish. And I'm all out of fish.

Bruce: Okay.

Aquaman: So I'm gonna look masculine! (diving) WOOO!

(Fast forward to Diana meeting with Cyborg)

Diana: We need you, Victor. And maybe you need us too.

Cyborg: I'm actually... already part of another team.

Diana: What?

(Cue the arrival of the cartoon incarnation of the Teen Titans)

Robin: Cyborg! The lives of the innocent are in danger! It's time to act!

Starfire: Yes, there is an evil wolf that does stepping upon us!

Raven: And we're gonna stop him or whatever.

Beast Boy: (as the camera focuses on Diana's butt) Hey, Wonder Woman, where are you going looking so f-?

Diana: UGH! My eyes are up here, guys!

(Fast forward to the first fight)

Flash: I know you guys are all ready to do battle but I've actually never done battle.

Batman: Stab one.

Flash: What?

Batman: Stab one person.

Flash: What're you talking about?

Batman: (pointing at Steppenwolf) To be more specific, stab that one actually.

Flash: I don't know how.

Batman: (taking Diana's sword and giving it to Flash) Here. Don't talk, don't think. Take Diana's sword, stab that guy. Do it now. Ready? Go!

(Flash runs and stabs Steppenwolf in the throat, killing him)

Flash: Wow, I am so uncomfortable with this. (walks away, creeped out)

Fast forward.

But this is how it REALLY should have ended...

(Superman resurrection scene, only he has a beard and his black suit)

Batman: Alright, now let's go protect The Mother Box.

Cyborg: On it.

(Everyone bar Aquaman leaves)

Aquaman: What about Superman?

Batman: It's fine. I took care of it.

(Cut to Superman hugging Lois as her engagement ring glows)

Wonder Woman: Aw, that's so sweet. I'm so happy for them.

Flash: So, how did you know Lois was the key again?

Batman: You told me.

Flash: Oh. When?

Batman: In the past.

Flash: Wait, what?

Batman: Which reminds me, I need you to tell me "Lois is the key" whenever you learn how to time travel.

Flash: I have a lot of questions about the things you just said.

Batman: There's no time! Let's get ready. Here comes Steppenwolf.

Steppenwolf: (appearing out of nowhere) Where is my Mother-? (gets stabbed in the throat by Aquaman's Trident, courtesy of Flash)

Flash: Yeah! I am so OP. Now, about that time travel thing.

(Cut to later in The Super Cafe. Superman has a mustache)

Superman: Great job, everyone! We saved the world!

(Everyone bar Batman celebrates)

Aquaman: Flash killed a guy!

Flash: Yeah, I killed Steppenwolf with a trident.

Batman: Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should probably stop murdering all the bad guys.

Flash: Oh, is that not, like, our thing anymore? I thought that was a thing we do.

Superman: Well, we finally did it. We finally showed the world that-.

Batman: I'm sorry, your facial hair is just too distracting. (reaches over to Superman's face) If we could just... (pulls off the moustache) There we go. That's better.

Superman: As I was saying... We finally showed the world that real heroes DO exist and now the world can be inspired again because we are great role models.

Aquaman: Is that what we did?

Iron Man: (flying past) Not even close!

Batman: Yeah, I think we sort of rushed a team hero story with a seriously divided Superman origin arc.

Superman: Nope! The name of Superman is fine because I am a beacon of hope and inspiration.

Flash: When did you say inspiring things exactly?

Superman: Let's not go there.

Cyborg: Maybe The Eighties.

Superman: Dude, I talked to that kid about hope being like his car keys!

Batman: Yeah, you also talked about death being itchy and, like, really weird.

Superman: Well, at least I didn't let my best friend's mom lose her house while I was too busy building a Quinjet!

Batman: Hey, I bought your mom's bank right at the end!

Superman: Oh, because that was easier?!

Aquaman: Well, this is off to a great start.

Wonder Woman: We have to be better, guys. There are much larger villains out there than Steppenwolf.

Flash: Like who? Like Darkseid?

(Cue the arrival of Martha Warlock!)

Martha: No, like me!

Aquaman: What the?

Flash: Who is that?

Martha: I am your demise! I am your destruction! The slayer of franchises! I. Am. Martha!

Batman: AH! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!

(Martha destroys The Super Cafe with one large blast. He laughs maniacally as The Justice League emerge from the rubble)

Cyborg: Everyone okay?

Flash: Yeah, I'm fine.

Batman: (looking at their destroyed hangout) Aah, Why The Cafe?! It was loved by millions!

Martha: It was and you allowed it to be ruined! You thought your mere presence was all it took!

Cyborg: (scanning Martha Warlock) It appears this Martha has come from another universe.

Aquaman: Which universe?

Cyborg: (pinpointing The MCU, which is shaped like a Massive Cankled Unicorn) Looks like a unicorn.

Martha: Mwuhahahahahahahahaha! I will destroy it all! If you refuse to world build, then you don't deserve a world at all!

Superman: You can't win, Martha! It's six versus one.

???: Make that seven!

(Cue the arrival of Green Lantern, who looks like Chris Pine)

Batman: (sarcastically) Yay, Green Lantern's here.

Green Lantern: I'm a little late to the party but better late than never.

Wonder Woman: Steve?

Green Lantern: Who's Steve? He sounds amazing.

Wonder Woman: I'm sorry, you look just like my... Can I call you Steve?

Green Lantern: (pulling a Princess Bride) As you wish.

The two get closer until...

Martha: Excuse me, you're too late! You're all too late! You'll never be the heroes everyone loves again! The damage is done and you lost! Lost! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! All because of The Mighty Martha!

Batman: (fed up) Oh my gosh, I'm so over this Martha thing. Justice League Huddle!

Everybody bar Superman huddles.

Batman: Flash, you take Diana's lasso and bind Martha's ankles. Cyborg, you're gonna grab his arms. Aquaman... Go tell all the tuna to gather all the jellyfish they can find.

Aquaman: Are you serious?!

Batman: Hehe, no. You help Cyborg. Then, Green Lantern and Diana will take turns hitting him.

Flash: I'm sorry, wait. Why are you the leader again?

Batman: What?

Flash: I said why are you the leader?

Batman: Oh, ahem... BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!

Flash: I know. I just-. I don't care. I just wanted you to do your thing.

Wonder Woman: We don't have time for this! We're doing Bruce's plan, okay?! Ready?! Break!

Cue Superman breaking Martha's neck.

Superman: You just got served some justice!

Batman: OH MY GOSH! Have we learned nothing?!

The end.

Cut to Deathstroke meeting with Lex.

Deathstroke: You better not be wasting my time.

Luthor: We have to level the playing field, Mr. Wilson. To put it plainly, shouldn't we have a League of our own?

Cue the appearance of...

Palpatine: Actually, we already have that.

Luthor: What the? Where did you come from?

Cut to The Villain Pub.

Luthor: Wow, this place is amazing. I can't believe this is actually already a thing. Thank you for inviting me.

Voldemort: Oh, you aren't actually welcome here.

Joker: Yeah.

Palpatine: We just wanted you to know it exists. Bownser!

Luthor: (as Bowser approaches) You guys brought me here just to throw me out?

Palpatine: Yep!

Luthor: (being carried by Bowser) That's so...

''Cut to outside. The door opens.''

Palpatine: EVIL!

Everyone: (as Luthor is sent flying out) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!