Super Cafe: Bat Phone



Super Cafe: Bat Phone is the 76th episode of How It Should Have Ended. It is apart of the featured segment, Super Cafe.

Logline
''Bat Phone vs. iPhone 4S? Which is your favorite? ''

Synopsis
In the Super Cafe, Batman and Superman do the usual... "sitting and talking". Superman is talking about how he is addicted to his iPhone 4S because it doesn't have any weaknesses. Batman remarks that it can't survive the fall of water. Superman then says like him it has one weakness (Superman's weakness is Kryptonite because it's pieces of his homeworld), he then states it is made out of breakable glass, is a phone. Even though it has two weaknesses, it is awesome. Batman states that he doesn't need the iPhone 4S, because he states everyone knows he has a Batphone that can do anything the iPhone 4S can do except it looks like a bat and he created. Superman says that sounds so exhausting and why he doesn't enjoy the changes somebody else made. Batman states that he is rich and can make his afford his own network. Superman says that the time it took for him to build it, he would be exhausted. Superman says that his phone (having a built-in AI Siri) can talk to him and it can remind him to do stuff and tell him where he is on the map. He says Siri is cool and is like J.A.R.V.I.S. and Iron Man. Iron Man says it isn't. Superman says it is, but Iron Man says it is not even close. Batman says he doesn't need a digital assistant, and that he has Alfred. He then calls Alfred and asks him to if it's going to rain today. Alfred asks Siri if it is going to rain today and it says it isn't. Alfred then says it is not going to rain today. Batman thanks Alfred, and says he doesn't need the iPhone 4S because he has the Batphone and it can do anything Superman's phone can do. Superman says that Alfred did the same thing the iPhone 4S does but Batman interrupts him and says it is the same thing. Batman then asks if Superman knows why and then says because it's a Batphone. I

n a post credit scene, Batman asks Siri if she would call him Batman, and in response she makes this request.

Transcript
(HISHE Logo)

(We begin at the Super Cafe)

(Superman is typing on his iPhone 4S and Batman is drinking his coffee mug)

Superman (with his iPhone 4S is his hand): Man, I am so addicted to this phone. It can do anything.

Batman (with a coffee mug in his hand): Anything but survive a splash of water.

Superman: Exactly, it has one weakness. It's like me except it's a phone and is made out of breakable glass which is really two weaknesses. But it's still cool. You should get one.

Batman: I don't need that phone everyone knows I have my sweet Batphone that can do everything your phone can do. Except mine looks like a bat and I made it myself.

Superman: That sounds so exhausting. Why don't you enjoy the features someone else designed for a change?

Batman: Because I'm rich and can afford my own network. Duh.

Superman: But by the time it took you to build all that - okay, fine. But dude, my phone talks to me and tells me to do stuff and tells me where I am on the map. Siri is cool, it's like J.A.R.V.I.S. and Iron Man.

(We then see Iron Man outside flying)

Iron Man: No it isn't.

Superman: Yes, it is.

Iron Man: Not even close.

Batman: Yeah, but I don't need a digital assistant, I have Alfred, check it out. Alfred.

Alfred (on the phone): Yes, sir?

Batman: Is it going to rain today?

Alfred (on the phone): One moment, sir. I'm going to check. (To Siri) Is it going to rain today?

Alfred's Siri (on the phone): There is no rain in the forecast for today.

Alfred (on the phone): No, Master Wayne, I don't think it's going to rain today.

Batman: Thanks, Alfred. I don't need that phone. I got my Batphone. And it can do anything your phone can do.

Superman: But Alfred just used the same -

Batman: It's just as good as your phone.

Superman: All right.

Batman: Do you know why?

(Superman sighs) 

Batman: Because it's a batphone!!!!!

Superman: There it is.

(Credits roll. HISHE logo) 

Batman: Call me Batman.

Superman's Siri: From now on, I'll call you Batman.

(Starz Digital Media logo and music)