How The Falcon And The Winter Soldier Should Have Ended

Transcript
We open with Falcon, Bucky, and U.S. Agent fighting the Dora Milaje. Sam takes on Nomble in hand to hand combat. Ayo disarms Bucky of his metal arm.

Bucky: Man!

After kicking his ass, Yama throws a spear at U.S Agent's shield. She removes her spear causing the shield to drop to the floor, and then picks it up. Brief silence.

Yama: Thanks for the shield. I'm keeping this.

U.S. Agent: Give it!

Yama: (runs off) WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP! (smashes through and leaps out the window)

John stares in complete shock as she does that. You know what this means!

Sam and Bucky: ♪Soooooooooooooooo...♪

Sam: ♪Unless you're a plane!♪

Bucky: ♪Or a bomb!♪

Sam: ♪Or some ice!♪

Bucky: ♪Or a brainwashed buddy!♪

Sam: ♪Or a Spider-Man!♪

Bucky: ♪Or Tony Stark! ♪

Sam: ♪Or a version of yourself! ♪

Sam and Bucky: ♪Or just plain Thanos! Or the Dora Milaje♪ ♪Then you don't necessarily have to yiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeld!♪

They both laugh.

Sam: That song is fun!

The Falcon And The Winter Soldier: How It Should Have Ended

We see Sam in his sister's house watching the press conference revealing John Walker as the new Captain America.

Government Official: It is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.

We then fade to another location as we see that someone else is watching the broadcast. That someone being...

Old Man Steve Rogers: WHAT?!?!

Old Man Rogers gets in his Captain America uniform from Avengers: Endgame, sprints past Nick Fury and Talos, steals their spaceship for their secret moon base a spaceship and makes his way back to Earth.

LATER...

Cut to U.S. Agent about to brutally murder Nico.

Nico: It wasn't me, man! It wasn't me!

U.S. Agent: RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!

U.S. Agent is about to deliver the fatal blow with the shield, but someone holds him back.

U.S. Agent: Huh?

That someone is revealed to be...

Old Man Steve Rogers: Excuse me.

He then proceeds to throw U.S. Agent into a wall. The crowd goes wild as Old Man Steve Rogers basks in his former glory. Sam and Bucky arrive on the scene to witness this event.

Old Man Steve Rogers: So... you thought you could kill a man with a shield that doesn't belong to you. (hands the shield back to Falcon) Don't put it in a museum this time will ya, Sam?

Falcon: Yeah, I know.

Old Man Steve Rogers: Good to see ya again, Buck!

Steve lightly nudges Bucky's shoulder... and causes his metal arm to fall off again.

Winter Soldier: Man!

Later in The Super Café, Sam and Bucky finish telling their story. Sam is now wearing his Captain America uniform.

Superman: So you got the shield back, you got a new suit, Old Man Rogers is hiding out for future cameos, and now you're officially Captain America!

Captain America: Yep. I gave a heroic speech on TV that made everyone reconsider their ways. Well, everyone but Zemo. He didn't change at all.

The Dora Milaje walk by the window with Zemo in their custody.

Captain America: But The Dora Milaje took care of him. But other than that, everything is better now.

Winter Soldier: Is it?

Captain America: Yes! Everything is better now!

Superman: I think you should've let The Dora Milaje handle this whole thing.

Batman: Yeah, I like The Dora Milaje. They're smart and strong and always prepared. Reminds me of, well, me.

Superman: You know who else reminds me of us?

Batman: What?

Superman: These two!

Captain America: We are nothing like you guys!

Winter Soldier: Yeah, that seems like a stretch!

Superman: A couple of hero buddies trying to do what's right. One has super strength, the other needs gadgets. One's suit is over the top pro-America, the other is more dark leather. You guys argue with each other all the time. One would totally date the other's sister given the chance.

Batman: That's ridiculous! You don't even have a sister!

Superman: I know, but if I did, you would so try to date her!

Batman: No I wouldn't! Do you know why? Because I'm Batman!

Superman: Yes, that's exactly why I know you would date her!

Batman: WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER HER FEELINGS INSTEAD OF THINKING YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL HER HOW TO LIVE HER LIFE!

Superman: You don't deserve my fictional sister!

Batman: She's not the fictional sister I deserve! She's the fictional sister I need!

Superman: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

Batman: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS!

Superman: MY FICTIONAL SISTER IS NOT GOING TO BECOME ONE OF YOUR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS!

Batman: WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KEEP ME FROM BEING HAPPY?!

Winter Soldier: You want me to start doing that? (imitates Batman) Because I'm Bucky!

Captain America: Please don't.

Superman: See? Just like us.

Winter Soldier: Well I know one thing that makes us different.

Batman: What's that?

Winter Soldier: Our universe doesn't reboot every 5 years. (laughs)

Captain America: Oh yeah! Up top!

They high five each other... but Bucky's metal arm falls off yet again.

Winter Soldier: *sighs* Man!

The End.

Cut to the post credit scene with Sharon Carter on her phone to potential black market buyers after her pardon by the government.

Sharon: We're about to have full access to government secrets, prototype weapons, you name it. Should be something-

But Captain America captures her.

Captain America: I GOT YOU, SUCKA!

Sharon: (as Sam zooms into the air with her) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Sharon is now imprisoned in the Raft. She glares out of her cell with her arms crossed.

Zemo: Velcome to ze party, Sharon.

Zemo is in his cell dancing awkwardly and beatboxing.