Professor Severus Snape

Professor Severus Snape is the Potions Master of Hogwarts and Dumbledore's double agent among Voldemort's forces.

How Harry Potter Should Have Ended
Snape shoots Lord Voldemort in the head with a Muggle pistol as the latter is about to finish off Harry Potter. He reveals that he has been drinking honey badger anti-venom ever since he started hanging around Voldemort's snake Nagini, explaining how he survived her bites. He requests Hermione's Time-Turner and time-travels to Voldemort's youth, killing the young Tom Riddle. The younger Dumbledore is shocked, and Snape begins to explain why he did what he did. However, Snape realizes that this story is so long that explaining it would take at least seven books, or eight movies.

Harry Potter and the Best Picture Summary
Snape joins Harry, Dumbledore, and Voldemort in discussing the Oscars. He claims that he retained his stoic look while watching The Descendants, and begins ranting about the other nominations.

Hulk Spoils Movies
Hulk claims that he is just as confused about sarcasm as he was when Snape killed Dumbledore, spoiling Harry Potter to Rhodey. Rhodey, having recently started watching the Harry Potter series, is angered by the spoiler.