How The LEGO Batman Movie Should Have Ended

Transcript
Batman: All great parodies... start with a skippable ad.

Advertisement: (showing a car) The new Pompous...

Batman: Well, not all of them. Sometimes they aren't skippable. Sometimes they're that pop-up ad because those are still around for some reason. (clicking the skip ad button) SKIP!

Cue HISHE logo.

Batman: Hizzy. Or is it He-She? Hi-She? I don't know. It all sounds like a sneeze.

Cue title.

Batman: How The Lego Batman Movie Should Have Ended. Now we're talkin'. Let's do this.

We see Batman trying to save Gotham as Joker watches.

Batman: Joker, please help us.

Joker: No, I'm not gonna help you. At least if the city is destroyed, I'll go out knowing I'm your greatest enemy. (turns away)

Batman: Shut up! You're not my greatest enemy!

Joker: Yeah, you've been very clear about that.

Batman: No... you're more than that.

Joker turns back.

Batman: You're the reason I get up in the afternoon-.

Superman: (arriving to save the day) HAHA! Don't worry, Bruce! Help has arrived!

Batman: What the-?!

Superman: (as The Justice League arrives) Alright, Justice League, let's (with the league) save the day!

Batman: No! What're you guys doing here?

Superman: (landing beside Joker) Saving your butt! Wonder Woman, Lasso!

Wonder Woman: Got it! (throws one end to Superman)

Batman: Las-! no!

Superman: Now, everybody pull!

Batman: Nono, guys, we were just about to-.

The city clicks back together.

Superman: Now, throw those criminals back in prison!

Justice League: You got it!

Batman: Stop it! This was MY victory! I had this under control! (seeing The Wonder Twins transform into a T-Rex and a bucket of water) What is THAT even gonna do?!

Aquaman throws water on Catwoman. The rest of the villains get caught.

Joker: (being carted away by Superman) You haven't seen the last of me, Batman!

Batman: I know! What happened here doesn't count!

The heroes: HOOORRRAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!

Batman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! No-no-nonono-nononono-noNO!

Superman: You're welcome!

Robin: Wow, that was amazing!

Batman: You stole my victory, Kal!

Superman: Now let's talk about how YOU stole my Phantom Zone Projector.

Cut to The Super Cafe. It's revealed Superman and Batman were playing with Lego sets.

Batman: (throwing his figure on the table) I don't want to play anymore.

Superman: What?! Why?! This is fun!

Batman: You can't just swoop in here and save the day. This is MY story.

Superman: Your story?

Batman: Yes, My story! Check the name on the box! B-A-T-M-A-Me! I sang a song about it and everything.

Superman: Oh, I heard the song. Your catchphrase was very obvious.

Batman: I had this whole epic moment happening. The town was literally divided, and we were gonna have to come together to save ourselves. It was extremely touching, and very relevant to the times, and you ruined it.

Superman: You also came into my house, smashed all my crystals with my father's memories, taught a child to STEAL from me, and THEN released literally every criminal out of prison.

Batman: Hehe, yeah. I forgot I smashed your families memories. That was hilarious.

Superman: Oh, you want hilarious?! How about I sing your theme song?!

Batman: It's really not that necessary.

The end.

♪Because... I'm... Batman!

Who has no powers? (Batman: What?) Batman!

Who's afraid of Snakeclowns? (Batman: That's perfectly normal!) Batman!

Who's addicted to caffeine? (Batman: I have a lot of late evenings!) Batman!

WHO NEEDS THE JUSTICE LEEEEEAAAAAAGUUUUUEEEEEE?!♪

Batman: NOT BATMAN! You hush your face! (taking the lego figures) Give me those! What's wrong with you?

Superman: You're no fun.

Batman: (getting out The Bat-Phone) Hey, 'Puter, change Password to Kal-El Sucks!

'Puter: Batman, we don't use the word sucks. That's not nice.

Batman: AW C'MON, ALFRED! Stupid parental settings!