How The Bourne Identity Should Have Ended

Transcript

 * Jason Bourne: Alright, that guy's coming up the stairs. Gotta think fast, here we go! Jason Bourne! Ugh! Ugh, ahh! Ugh, this is gonna be awesome, here we go! Haha! Blammo. Haha yea sucka! I'm invincible!! (Choking and Gasps) OWWWWW. Owwwww!!!!! Oh Why did I do that? Gah, I think I pierced my lung! (Choking and Gasps) Ugh Ow! Oh why didn't I just shoot that guy when he get to the top of the stairs? Oh I'm bleeding! OW.. Ow... Oh my arm hurts too! Ah that was a terrible idea, Jason Bourne. (Sobbing) Why did you do that? (Sobbing) You though it would cool if you like whoa and then he was like bam and then you would walk away.. And now you've got broken arms and ribs... I don't know if I can walk again! (Sobbing) Oh my gosh this is so embarrassed! AHH!