How Ant-Man and the Wasp Should Have Ended

Transcript
We open with the flashback where Wasp (Janet) gets lost to the Quantum Realm in 1987.

Wasp (Janet):Tell Hope I love her!

Ant-Man (Hank): No, wait!

Wasp( Janet) goes subatomic and deactivates the missile. It plummets towards the sea.

Ant-Man (Hank): Oh no, she went subatomic and saved everyone! Everyone except me. Time for my trusty convenineANTS! Save me ants! (nothing happens) Oh, yeah, this missile travels faster than ants can fly... Well, poo-. (missile hits the water)

Cue a quick MCU inspired logo... which gets destroyed by Scott going giant.

Ant-Man: My bad, guys! (shrinks)

Creator: AW, C'MON!

We open on Hope seeing Ghost for the first time. Scott and Hank watch this in the van via the security cameras in the building.

Wasp: Dad, are you seeing this?

Hank: Hope, get out of there!

Wasp: Okay! (shrinks the tech she got as well as herself and flies really high out of Ghost's reach, who tries to grab her) Oh, can you not fly? That's too bad. You guys probably better get the lab out of here. I'll just catch up later. (flies offscreen)

Hank: Yeah, okay. Good idea. We'll leave a Hot Wheel for ya.

Fast forward to Luis calling Scott about his subplot.

Luis: Hey, man. I got this serious problem with this pointless security system job that's happening tomorrow morning. Why don't you tell me where you're at so I can come over there and you can help me fix it.

Scott: I don't think that's such a good idea, man. It's a... it's just not a good time right now.

Luis: No, no, no, no. No. No, you've gotta help me out, bro. This is like a serious part of the story for real.

Scott: I'm sorry. Gotta go. Bye.

Burch: Where is Scott Lang? Literally speaking!

Luis: That's what I've been trying to tell you. He wouldn't tell me. I think he must be in some kind of trouble or he was trying to work it with his girlfriend, you know. Otherwise, he for sure would tell me because me and him are like best friends, you know. But I asked him and he's like, (as we're treated to Scott talking with Luis' voice like in the movie) "Hey, Luis... You're my best friend and I tell you everything but I can't right now so I got to tell you later. (as we cut back to Luis in the present) Bye!"

Ghost: (appearing in front of the group just like the movie) CRAP!

Everyone: (screams)

Luis: IT'S A GIRL GHOST!

Fast forward to Sonny Burch and his goons arriving in three 4x4's in front of Hope's van.

Wasp: Change of plans.

Luis: Ooh! Are we gonna go like on a awesome car chase through San Francisco, even though we have a critically small amount of time to save your Mom?

Wasp: Not exactly.

Cue Hope shrinking the van. It drives towards Burch's car.

Burch: What the? Where'd she go? What the heck is she doing? (cue his car getting flipped by Hope's van enlarging and screams in agony)

Burch's car crashes onto Car 2. Hope's van shrinks again.

Goon 1: Oh man! What are we gonna do now?

Goon 2: I don't know! Where'd she go?

Goon 1: I don't know! (cue the car getting flipped by Hope's van enlarging and they scream in agony)

Fast forward to Hank reuniting with Janet in the Quantum Realm after being separated for 31 years.

Hank: I can't believe it's really you!

Janet: Yeah! Pretty crazy, right?

Hank: How did you survive down here? I mean, what did you eat? How are we even breathing right now? Did you make these clothes? Where did you find these clothes? You look so beautiful. Are you wearing makeup? Where did you find makeup?

Janet: Oh, you know. Science, Molecules, Convenience.

Hank: Just like my convenieAnts.

Janet: No, Hank.

Hank: You understand what I'm saying.

But this is how it really should have ended...

Cue to the post credits where Scott gets ready to collect healing particles for Ghost.

Janet: And don't get stuck in a time vortex. We won't be able to save you.

Hope: Okay, going subatomic in three, two...

Ant-Man: Guys, I don't feel right about this.

Hope: What do you mean?

Ant-Man: Uh, oh, I don't know maybe because The Avengers! (gets out his phone showing them reports about Infinity War, which is happening right now) Weren't you watching the news today? I think something huge is going down and the guys could really use my help.

Hank: We could use your help, Scott.

Janet: Yeah, this is important research.

Ant-Man: Oh is it?! (shows them a realistic picture of Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian in New York) There are aliens attacking the city!

Hank, Janet and Hope: Research!!!

Ant-Man: But, I'm not under house arrest anymore. I really feel like we're wasting really important time with this. Siri, where are the Avengers right now?

Siri: The Avengers are currently fighting Thanos in Wakanda.

Ant-Man: CRAP! You see what I'm saying? Who is Thanos?! We gotta help them! Siri, where is Wakanda?

Siri: The location of Wakanda is currently unavailable.

Ant-Man: Guys! This is serious! I feel like if we don't do something right now, something really bad is gonna happen!

Hank, Hope, and Janet turn into dust due to The Snap from Infinity War.

Ant-Man: AAAAGH! I knew it! See? Oh, you're dead.

We cut to The New Super Cafe. Superman and Batman are waiting.

Batman: I thought Ant-Man and Wasp would have been here by now.

Suddenly, the cars outside crash into one another as the effect of The Snap occurs. Nick Fury appears.

Nick Fury: Mother-. (turns to dust after sending a message on his pager to Captain Marvel)

Superman: What the heck was that?

Batman: Agh! Nick Fury just turned to dust in front of our window! We've gotta to do something!

Batman is about to get up when...

Superman: Um... Bruce. This is different. (turns to dust)

Batman: What the?! Kal! Speak to me! What's going on? (starts turning into dust as well as his cup) Oh, no. Oh, no, not today! BECAUSE... I'M... BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! (somehow he and his cup didn't disintegrate and comes back to life) Agh! (Gasps) I will avenge you, Superman. I mean. I will... Unite the league... you... Superman. (sees his dust rising) Oh, never mind. His dust is rising. He'll be back.

Cue title and the credits.

YouTube Outro. Janet heals Ghost while Hope and Hank watch... and then Janet knocks out Ghost in one hit.

Hank: What the?! What'd you do that for?

Janet then transforms into...

Catwoman: Meow.

Batman: DO YOU WANNA KNOW MY SECRET IDENTITY?!