Villain Pub - The New Smile



Coming Soon

TBA

Transcript
Open with Loki and Voldemort at the counter with Palpatine. Joker shows up in his newest film incarnation.

Joker: Hey hey, fellas!

Everyone: Eeeeeewwwww!

Palpatine: What did you do?

Joker: Thought it was time for a change.

Loki: Ew. Well, you thought wrong!

Palpatine: Yes. No shirt, no service.

Joker: Ugh, okay. (puts on a shirt)

Voldemort: You look like a wannabe rockstar.

Joker: You don't like it?

Voldemort: I mean it's not killing me, it's just hurting me really, REALLY, bad.

Loki: Yes, change back.

Joker: I can't. I shaved my eyebrows. Do you know how long it takes for eyebrows to grow back?

Voldemort: I certainly do! You are hosed, man. But didn't we just talk about the perfect costume? Your previous costume was excellent.

Magneto: Oh, I don't know. I always thought your look in 89 was the best. Or the Sixties.

Khan: I disagree. That time you sounded like Luke Skywalker, that was the best.

Voldemort: He STILL sounds like Luke Skywalker sometimes!

Palpatine: Well, that would explain why I don't always like you.

Voldemort: Why can't you just stay one way and that's it? You don't see us rebooting over and over again, do you?

Everyone: Yeah.

Zod: Yeah-! Oh.

Bane: It's too soon, man. Too soon. You can't just pull off a band-aid without warning.

Joker: It's been 7 years! Plus, I'm The Joker! I'm unpredictable! It's what I do. One day I might blow up a hospital, the next day I may want ridiculous tattoos and no eyebrows. It's just gonna happen, people, but it's still me.

Voldemort: Well, I just think maybe you should've asked us first.

Zod: Yes. Now you look like a psychotic version of Jordan from My So Called Life.

Voldemort: THAT'S what he reminds me of!

Joker: You guys watch My So Called Life?

Everyone: No!/Shut up!/You do!

Palpatine: What is this, 1995?

Loki: I do think it's on Netflix though.

Voldemort: What is this "Net-flix"?

Joker: Okay. So anyway, this is my look now.

Everyone: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!

Khan: I'm leaving.

Voldemort: No!

Loki: Have some dignity!

Magneto: You have "Damaged" on your forehead!

Harley: I say we give him a chance!

The Villain Pub: The New Smile

The End.

Cut to Voldemort's house. He's reveal to have gotten Netflix.

Voldemort: Okay. Netflix streaming. Let's see here... My So Called Life. What's this?

Netflix: "My So Called Life" is currently not available on stream. It is available on DVD only.

Voldemort: "DVD only"? (realising he's been duped) LOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!