How Logan Should Have Ended



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TBA

Transcript
Mrs. Munson: Thank you so much for saving our horses. Please let us thank you by giving you food and shelter for the night.

Charles: Oooooh, food AND shelter. Logan, let's stay with these innocent people for the night.

Logan: (takes Laura back to the car) No, we're actually running for our lives right now. There's seriously no time for this but thanks anyway. (driving the car far away from The Munsons) BYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Mrs. Munson: What a nice man.

Mr. Munson: I bet he just saved our lives.

Cut to our heroes, driving down the highway.

Charles: But, Logan, I wanted you to have a chance to value family.

Logan: WE ARE BEING HUNTED, CHARLES!

Cue title.

Spoiler Warning!

We cut to the ending where Laura cuts off the branch that Logan is embedded onto. He slides down, bleeding. Laura is crying.

Logan: Go.

Laura: No.

Logan: You don't have to fight anymore. Go.

Silence until... Les Miserables Logan Tribute Song!

Laura: ♪Daddy live, Daddy you’ve got to live♪

Logan: Why are you singing?

Laura: ♪You can heal, please don’t make us cry.♪

Logan: ♪No my child. I’m sorry but it’s time I can not heal So now I die (handing Laura a copy of Old Man Logan) On these pages You’ll find my last edition Read them well When I finish my bleeding It’s a story Of a mutant with claws raging A mutant everybody loved Metal bones and super healing♪

Jean: ♪Come with Jean where claws will never slice you♪

Logan: Jean...

Jean: ♪All your grit and scruff that once defined you X-men Heaven, please let him cross this divide ♪

Logan: ♪Laura, don’t be what they made you So this is what it feels like…♪ (dies)

Laura cries at the death of her father. Another kid hugs her. We see Jean taking Logan to see Charles in X-Men Heaven.

Jean: ♪Take my hand It’s time for your finale Take my love Even though one time you stabbed me♪

Jean, Logan & Charles: ♪And remember That Hugh Jackman is Logan To cast another person now Is simply a lost cause♪

We cut to Logan joining The X-Men (both from comics and movies) and Elsa from Frozen in heaven, on a barricade built in front of The X-Mansion and singing the chorus of this Les Miserables tribute to Logan.

X-Men: ♪Do you hear the Wolverine? Finally finished with the fight All of his stabbing of the people Who do not know wrong from right Of all the Mutants and their worth There is a man that never dies Seventeen years of X-Men And now he’s cutting ties We will live again in reboots In our Marvel Universe Even though we aren’t Avengers Rated R we’ll screw and curse An X-Men for adults And honestly things could be worse Will you forget X2? How many Last Stands will there be? We tried to make X-Men Origins But, just got more Wolverine First Class made the people sing Magneto versus Bacon Then in the Days of Future Past Happy ending comes! Quicksilver then joins the team Apocalypse does not succeed Somewhere beyond all that Xavier makes all of us deceased Do you hear the Wolverine? Drinking his beer and saying "bub" It is a franchise stretched too far Now our Logan’s done Aah... Our Logan's done!♪

Cut to black.

???: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

We see The DeLorean arrive and Deadpool gets out of it.

Deadpool: NO! Not like this, you sexy scruffy man! (shoves Laura out of the way) Excuse me, Little Girl! (injects a huge needle containing that serum Logan took earlier) LIVE! (brandishes twin defibrillators) LIIIIIIVE! Clear!

He shocks Logan, who wakes up, alive and well.

Deadpool: Oh, thank God. (lying down beside Logan) That was a close one.

Logan: What happened?

Deadpool: We almost lost you there, Big Guy. I can't let you go dying on me. We're just getting started. (handing Logan his costume from the 90's cartoon) Here, I brought you your tights and everything.

Logan: Oh,*BLEEEEEEP*! (The word "fuck" getting censored with with a black bar reading "CUSS")

Deadpool: Now you're getting it. C'mon, let's go rub our butts on some glass.

Cut to The Super Cafe. Deadpool rubs his butt on the window that Superman and Batman are sitting beside.

Deadpool: Hey, fellas!

Superman: Please stop associating me with your butt cheeks.

Deadpool: Logan, play his theme song! It's hilarious!

Logan leaves.

Deadpool: Hey, where are you going?

Batman: Just ignore him.

Deadpool: (hearing that) BECAUSE I'M BUTTMAN!

Batman: (offended) OKAY, NOW THAT'S JUST TOO FAR! (leaves)

The end. Cut to credits.

Singer: There's a man who wears red and black Going round showing off his butt crack Boy this video sure went way off track! A Logan musical... who came up with that?! Well, thanks for watching, we hope you didn't frown Hope to see you next time we come around Click the buttons! Click to subscribe! Watch some more videos if you feel like! That's all for now! Thanks for watching! SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON, YEAH! Johnny Cash me outside how bout dat?